Making Sense of Big Feelings: Regulation + Why it Matters
All the feels: Why can emotions be so challenging?
Think of your emotions like a car- your feelings are the engine (fast and powerful) and emotional regulation is the brakes and steering wheel. Being able to understand and manage emotions will help you navigate different environments and circumstances. Being able to navigate and control emotions can be a challenging thing for kids (and let’s be honest adults too!) because they are still developing and learning tools that can help their brain regulate and understand what is occurring. Sometimes children don’t know what their body is feeling (interoception!), they may not have words yet to describe what they are feeling, or it may be a new experience that they have never had to navigate before. All of these factors and more can play a role in children being able to understand and express their emotions in a healthy manner.
What’s the deal with emotional regulation?
Emotional regulation isn’t just about feelings—it’s deeply connected to the body.
A child’s sensory system (how they process things like sound, touch, movement, and internal body signals) plays a huge role in how they respond to the world. When a child is overstimulated, understimulated, or physically uncomfortable, their body can respond in different ways that may appear as them acting out or having a meltdown. However, when this occurs there is typically an underlying factor (or factors) that are impacting them and an unmet need. For example, a child who is running around, bouncing of the walls, and cannot control their body may benefit from deep pressure (squishes, bear hugs, laying under blankets or pillows) which stimulates the proprioceptive system and helps them recognize where their body is at in space. Or a child who is hesitant to try new things or go new places, potentially shutting down during the new experience may be overwhelmed by the new sounds, smells, and visual environment benefiting from discussion of what will occur prior to trying something new, wearing a hat to decrease visual input, or wearing headphones to decrease sound levels.
Bringing it home:
Does this feel familiar? If so, here are some tips for supporting regulation in the home environment:
Providing built in breaks after a task/event that may be challenging for your child.
Providing simple realistic choices allows for the child to feel in control of the situation that they otherwise might not have control of.
Model words for them to utilize to describe the situation.
Model ways that your body feels while participating in different activities (for example: running – my heart is fast, washing hand – the water feels cold or warm)
Regulate with them! Practice taking deep breaths together, listening to their favorite song, or giving big bear hugs.
Getting support how you need it:
Sometimes, trying to implement these tips and tricks by yourself can be challenging. Luckily, there are trained professionals who are able to support you and your family.
Occupational Therapy can assist in teaching your child and family strategies that promote healthy regulation and meet your child’s individual sensory needs.
Social Emotional Therapy can assist in understanding emotions, thoughts, and developing coping skills to promote regulation.
Emotional regulation is not something children are born knowing—it’s a skill that develops over time with healthy support, practice, and realistic expectations. By understanding the connection between the body and emotions, we can better support children in feeling safe, regulated, and ready to grow.
Always growing, emotions + all!
Anna, OT + Taylor, LCSW
The Way to Grow Pediatric Therapy Team 🌟
about our featured writer:
Meet Anna, one of our fantastic occupational therapists, here on staff at Way to Grow! Anna received her Master’s of Science from Belmont University (that’s a lot of road trips to Nashville from central IL!), and has been on our team since the summer of 2025 - where she works with kids at both our Peoria Heights and Galesburg locations! Anna has a passion for serving the community she lives in and absolutely loves working with children and their families. She finds so much joy in helping children develop new skills, grow their confidence, and see them thrive in life + truly has a gift for it! Anna is deeply committed to her family, and is always ready to gush about one of her precious nieces and nephews! If she’s not with one of them, you might find Anna enjoying the outdoors, exploring new coffee shops, or reading - hey, maybe all three at once!
Meet Taylor- our (currently) one and only LCSW! Fun fact: Taylor lives in rural Central Illinois on a cattle farm, and even has a pet cow named Daisy! Growing up in a rural community, Taylor recognized the need early on for accessible social emotional services for young children, and went on to get her Master’s Degree in Social Work from St. Ambrose University. What Taylor loves about social work is building trusting relationships with children and providing them with a safe environment to be their authentic selves. Taylor enjoys utilizing safe and playful environment to aid in helping young children excel in a variety of areas including: emotion identification/regulation techniques, peer relationship skills, and executive functioning. You may not have heard, but Taylor is a new mama! If she’s not at the clinic offering therapy services, then you might find Taylor out and about with her husband and new baby Hudson!
